Credit to the real white knight

Only when there is fun shit to be criticised do I emerge from whatever hole I've been hiding in for the past however long its been.

So the internet is going absolutely mental with chatter on Invisible Children's "Kony 2012" campaign. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're obviously the only person in the world who still uses Myspace instead of Facebook.

And I'm not going to bother repeating all the arguments that have already been eloquently addressed by others such as:

- IV is not so transparent
- The information provided by the video is somewhat exaggerated
- This is just another instance of the White Knight required to save the poor Africans
- The founders are a bunch of twats:
The founder Jason 'Radical Russell said in an interview: "If Oprah, Steven Spielberg and Bono had a baby, I would be that baby." 

and this is them posing like gangsters, yeah, nice advocacy work
Photo credit

I am instead going to focus on one serious detail.......the fact that they tried to steal another great man's thunder.....taking away from his success, and profiting from it. That man of course is non other than, Sam Childers, The Machine Gun Preacher.

Those of you who have read my blog in the past have always known that I am a huge huge fan of Mr Childers. That is why it absolutely breaks my heart to see that a bunch of preppy dickheads have tried to benefit from Mr Childer's achievements, namely, convincing the US government to deploy US forces to Uganda to help train soldiers there to hunt Kony. 

As Joshua Keating has rightfully pointed out, the IV's video suggests that their campaign is merely trying to make sure that Obama does not withdraw those soldiers.....even though no one has mentioned that they were planning to do so. 

It was the Machine Gun preacher movie that got the US government interested in the issue, which resulted in the initial deployment of forces in Uganda. 

The way I see it, these kids spent too long editing their movie (don't try to compete with Hollywood) that they could no longer take credit for the US deploying the troops. Nor could they make their cause about putting pressure on the US government to deploy troops. Instead, they had to come up with this desperate reasoning of keeping the troops there. 

So if there is an organisation you want to support, I would strongly suggest supporting the Machine Gun Preacher's organisation, Angels of East Africa (NO, DONT ACTUALLY DO THAT, I AM JUST JOKING!!!!!)

But seriously, if there are white folks to be thanked, it really should be Sam Childers and Gerrad Butler......lets throw Prendergrast in there too (he might be a twat, but at least he's my twat). 

P.S.

As with any internet fad, absolutely shameless humour always ensues.....here are some highlights mainly from 4chan and Canvas:

Famous and hated

UNDP International Fitness Instructor

At the aid coordination meeting...

Ok, I know Im slow to the trigger on this one....and I know I haven't posted much of recent days....but here goes:

Well it seems that having paid R&R every 6 weeks was just not enough.......

Life in Juba has been so depressing and stressful for UNDP staff that management has had to adopt Corporate Japan style mandatory daily exercises, to secure the physical and mental wellbeing of their staff so that they can keep doing what they do best......nothing.

I mean, I assume it is going to be mandatory and that they aren't just going to hire some overpaid westerner to stand around the UNDP compound flexing his muscles peddling fitness to the especially lazy staff members who couldn't be bothered to get involved in the hundred different activities that are already available (most often for free) in Juba, including:

Group runs, rock climbing (indoor & outdoor), ultimate frisbee, various martial arts, gym, swimming, touch rugby, football, squash, tennis, kayaking/canoeing, salsa dancing, bull running, motorcycle racing, pool, gambling (casino), eating, drinking, table tennis. 

Im pretty sure that those staff members who aren't getting enough exercise aren't necessarily just waiting for the facilities/activities/service to become available. They are just a bunch of lazy bastards who aren't going to exercise anyways.

Like a self-fulling prophecy, I think maybe if UNDP staff are not constantly reminded, through their hazard pay, of the hazardous and stressful nature of the environment they are working in then they won't feel so stressed? 

To be honest, I was probably the most fit while I was living in Juba as a result of the multitude of fun activities available. I learnt Capoeira there for god's sake.....and that was alongside UNDP staff, so this apparent problem is definitely not widespread. I would have loved to see the thought process that led to this brilliant waste of funds. I would also love to see who they end up hiring....."please say it's Blackwater fitness trainers, please say it's Blackwater fitness trainers"

Happy One Year Anniversary of the CPA/Referendum!

Credit: Pete Muller

To celebrate this momentous occassion that signified the end to a longstanding violent conflict with the North, the US thought the most appropriate gift was to give South Sudan a load of new weapons......

After adding South Sudan to the list of countries which the US can transfer weapons to, Barack Obama said this in his memorandom:


 “the furnishing of defense articles and defense services to the Republic of South Sudan will strengthen the security of the United States and promote world peace”. (ST)

Emphasis on South Sudan now being the US' guard dog in East Africa...... congratulations?

As happy as I am on this day, I can't help but think that there are some little cynical weasels out there who are rubbing their hand together as their idea of a pre-failed state (also here and here) may have come true with today's line up of news.......

- Murle revenge attack on Lou Nuer kills 23

- South Sudan's rebels elect new leader

- Gun fight between an SS MP's family and their in laws injure four

- Cattle Herders richer than govt. officials

- Lake state MP to be investigated over child abduction

I'm probably being irrational in my beliefs, and I can't really argue against their points, but I can't help but still hold a lot of hope for South Sudan. Being there, with the spirit of the people, one can't help but think that these are merely short-term problems that will be overshadowed by the long path of success in South Sudan's future. 

South Sudan Oyeee!

No more peace conferences!!!! (the conflict in Jonglei)

Im sure (hoping) that many of you have heard about the recent violence that has been occurring in Jonglei State of South Sudan between the Murle community of Pibor county and the Lou-Nuer of the surrounding area*. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Al-Jazeera had made it the headline of their front page. Also, here is a link to an interesting recording from the BBC Worldservice, on the current conflict
It is difficult to really state when this conflict actually began but it is certain that the the level of violence has been continuously escalating as vengeance is met revenge. This recent attack is in retaliation to this attack that left 600 (Lou-Nuer) dead, which was a retaliation to this attack 250 (Murle)  dead, and so on and so forth. The number of casualties of this recent attack has been estimated at 2,182 people from the Murle community, mostly women and children......That is about 1.5% of the entire Murle population**. This is the type of numbers you see from a full military conflict or civil war. But this is not civil war. This is a conflict between two communities fighting over identity, resources (cattle) and a lot of strong emotions. For me, one of the strangest thing about this conflict is that you can't really sympathise with either sides.

Anyways, the following is a video from Al-Jazeera, I want to draw your attention to the interview with the vice president Riek Machar, and his strategy on dealing with the issue. 

******WARNING: OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE IMMINENT.....you have been warned*********

Aside from the standard procedures to deal with the immediate threat, deployment of additional security forces and the creation of a buffer zone, the solution is one that I am absolutely sick and tired of hearing......Motherfucking PEACE CONFERENCE!!

For those that might not know, a peace conference is basically just an event where the politicians and community leaders from both warring parties come together, have a nice meal, hand out some t-shirts, and tell some wanker consultant about what THEY think the cause of conflict is and how THEY think the issues can be resolved. A whole bunch of pretty resolution and recommendations are written down....and then ends up in some file to never see the light of day again. This obsession of peace conferences basically stems from its successes in resolving some of the inter-community conflict, back in the day. Since those successes, whenever there is a conflict, peace conferences have become the de facto solution.....but it has been so long since they have been successful. The organisers typically exclude the people who are involved in the conflict, and when the belligerents are involved, they will say whatever sounds good at the time just for the sake of saying them.....people behave differently in the presence of different people?!.....that is just shocking! (anyone who has ever done a community focus group discussion will know what Im talking about).

Now of course I am being excessively harsh. Its not like I have any bright ideas to solve this conflict.....(not one that is ready to be implemented anyways) and these politicians are merely just implementing what they know......and what they know is basically whatever horseshit that NGOs and the UN have been feeding them.....and what do these people know? well....horseshit. Many of the peacebuilding strategies are created with guesswork based on the dubious information about the causes of the conflict that they extract from the community (through rubbish focus group discussions).
So basically, Im calling for an end to this ridiculous method of resolving conflict. Im calling for a beginning of peacebuilding strategies that are rigorously tested before implementation. Im calling for new approaches to resolving conflict that does not involve what is essentially a really expensive circle jerk***

Oh and lets also not forget those damn donors with their short term funding that forces organisations to adopt simple shallow projects that are expected to perform miracles......fuck you, you ignorant cretins.

Finally, I just have to add.....the UN would've probably been able to anticipate this attack much much earlier if they actually had people on the ground. The UN has a compound in Akobo town (the capital of the county where the Lou-Nuer come from) that I know is always empty. They just fly-in on their fancy helicopters once in a while to talk to the county commissioner, but never actually stay there.....probably due to security issues.....pussies.

*For a map of the boundaries of the various ethnic groups in SS, go here

** For the SS 2010 census, go here 

*** Not to say that there aren't organisations out there that are trying different approaches......but usually when there are, they are still not very well thought through and a widely based on gut instinct. 

Why al-Dabi was chosen to head the observer mission

My personal sufi expert has finally started his own blog, Internet Penance. His most recent post is an interesting perspective on why al-Dabi was selected to lead the Arab League observer mission to Syria.

I am more inclined to believe that this the failure of this mission had less to do with a genuine desire to resolve the conflict, but a reflection of the limitations and increasing irrelevance of the Arab League model as defined by the worldview of the Old Guard. Perhaps, the Arab Parliament (a newer body connected to the League) and its call on the observer mission to give up and leave (and hence contradiction of the League’s adamant defense of the mission) is an indication that the breeze of the Arab Spring ‘khamsin‘ is about to turn up at the headquarters of the Arab League itself. 

Prostitutes rape pastors

You try finding an appropriate image

Im not a massive fan of copy and pasting but this was just too funny. From AllAfrica:

Two men of God were over the weekend allegedly lured to patronise harlots at a popular brothel at Cable Point, Asaba, the Delta State capital, when they went there to preach to the ladies of easy virtue.LEADERSHIP learnt that the pastors from a very popular church along Ibusa Road in the state had visited the area to convert and win over the sex workers to their church, but they were themselves seduced by the prostitutes who had sex with them and later burnt their Bibles and clothes.
Sources said the men of God (their names withheld) had resolved in one of their meetings to win many converts, especially the prostitutes who stay in brothels, in order for them to grow their church's membership.Cable Point is a notorious stop-over for hoodlums and has the largest number of brothels and casinos in the south-south region.An eyewitness said that preachers had gained audience with the harlots but after a period of time they were disoriented by the sudden display of breasts and other revealing body parts which reportedly hypnotized the preachers. Their hosts then took them into their rooms where they were said to have performed 'quickies.'LEADERSHIP learnt that fight broke out when the evangelists regained their composure and insisted on not paying the harlots' bills, arguing that that was not their original mission. During the scuffle, they ladies reportedly burnt the pastors' Bibles and clothes.

I have absolutely nothing to add....

(I don't know how to get rid of the highlights and can't be bothered to retype it, sorry)

Ostriches and Sufis in Sudan

I was recently sent this most interesting link of a video of a Sufi Tariqa (order) in Sudan performing a ritual ceremony......with ostriches?!
Further research led to the photograph above from a Foreign Policy collection of photos of Sudan as a whole released just before the South's independence. There are references to ostriches in a bunch of articles, but nothing that actually explains the significance of ostriches to their ceremonies. Just references to the creature in metaphorical a

I consulted my Sufi expert (because all the cool kids have one of those), who has spent some time with this Tariqa in Sudan but he was unsure of it himself. I then tried to consult my ostrich expert, but he had his head in the ground (ba-dum-tiss)

If anyone out there has some answers and would like to enlighten me, I would be very grateful.

H/T: Harith Ramli