Monday, July 9, 2012

Party poopers

Happy Birthday South Sudan! You are one years old and doing pretty damn well for yourself despite all the struggles you have had to and continue to endure.

Now to you, journalists of the world, writing your most emotive and touching piece on South Sudan's first birthday..............

I don't go to your kids' first birthday parties and tell them how much of a failure they are...... I don't go up to them and remind them that they still shits their pants and have a terribly low literacy rate...... So why do it to the South Sudanese?........dick

Just calm down.....

In his latest attempt to CALM EVERYONE THE FUCK DOWN, Bashir has blamed  zombies, crab people, gingers, witches, Jews and climate change for the recent protests demonstrations kerfuffle in Khartoum.

Following his head of PR's advice that the public are probably not going to buy that the recent problems are not actually a mini uprising but rather just a bunch of street children going mental, Bashir has gone into full "crazy dictator's crazier explanations for country's problems" mode. The key is saturation of scapegoats.......try them all and one is sure to succeed.

Although Bashir was given great credit for introducing the latest excuse of;
"We've already had an arab spring-like revolution in Sudan.......this is the product of it, and we are totally not due for another one for at least another 30 years."

So to all you commentators and voyeurs-of-revolutions out there who are on the brink of bursting that sweet uprising nectar.......You'll have to just put it back in your pants.

Despite these seemingly concrete plans that are clearly going to work, some within his faction who have a lack of faith for Bashir's strategy have been devising alternative plans:

"Separately, the President’s uncle, al-Tayeb Mustafa, advised his cousin to withdraw from the NCP and initiate a process of political reform in the country with free and fair elections as its endpoint. Thereby, he argued, the President could streamline an Arab Spring in Sudan without going through its risky pangs, the non-alcoholic beer of a revolution without a revolution. " (source)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Wumame addresses the BET

Funny shit......

He basically goes on a 7 minute rant criticising the way in which BET basically 'quarantined' international (read: African) artists by giving them their awards backstage, away from the spotlight.